I'm No Poe

Trying to escape
how far can one mind go
grab the gun

too loud

slit the wrists

too slow

tomorrow will come
no end in sight
until a few days later

comes the light

and if the days turn to weeks
how far can one mind go
it starts to realize, then again,
maybe that won't be too slow.

Like a child

who can do nothing right

the words out of my mouth

are they even heard

before discarded in plain sight

Strange what the mind can do when you are in a not so favorable state.  Don't get your panties in a wad.  I like to write when I am down and this is how it comes out.  No worries.  Maybe I'll "wake up" tomorrow!

Funk Much?

I can usually tell when I am getting a little depressed.  I don't know if I would call it depressed as much as really just a funk.  You know, when you just feel down and like the world is against you.  So many things lately seem to be "because of you".  And not really much that I did, I feel like it's just me being around and being myself.  If it is based on something I did, the whole thing is so juvenile.

Either way, funk cometh.

My mom gave me a shout out on my last blog and that was pretty freaking awesome.  I miss her tons and tried to get her on Skype tonight but she is working.  I am ready for her to come up here.  How about coming NOW for some spring planting mom??  It could use a pro.

I could sure use YOU too.

Cake anyone?

I have always loved those diaper cakes you see at baby showers.  Actually, I have never seen one in person.  Well, I decided I was going to make one for my friends shower. I wanted to do the "smooth icing" kind where you layered the diapers instead of the rolled diapers.  I would like to try that one too but I wanted a more elegant look.  Since they aren't finding out the sex of the baby we went with pink, yellow and green for our shower colors.  I would have liked a more pastel color but they worked and I found ribbon to match.  I can't wait to try and make more.  I think I would really have fun with a gender specific one.  Here's a few pics........

Tomorrow I have my MRI.  Thankfully this one is without contrast only instead of having to go through everything twice.  Then I follow up with the neuro in April.  I have a few ideas of what I am going to try to make things better.  We'll just see.  I know it for sure won't be surgery.

Watched a movie with Rick and Renee this weekend (oh, Lucky and Harley too!) called Brothers.  It was really good.  Sad in a way, but good.  

Weather is starting to be more spring like.  I was actually HOT today.  Need to bust out the spring/summer clothes!

Happy Spring!

I failed to mention all the family in my post about friends.  I just considered that would be a completely different blog all together.  So sorry! 

I also learned that in all my efforts to let people know that by keeping my presence in my old place of employment by reading my blog and MISINTERPRETING it to include people other than them, I misled a dear friend into thinking the blogs were possibly about her.  So, if you work at my previous place of employment, read my blog then continue to take what I say back to work and create drama-STOP IT.  You are telling people it is about them when in fact it is about YOU.  The people that I remain friends with there KNOW they are not the "clowns" I was referring to.  Just STOP.  Get over it, quit creating drama.  YOU are keeping me alive there.  I left, remember?  One of the MAIN reasons was the damn drama.  Keep my name out of your mouths.  I don't want to go more blunt than that.  Some of you, I don't even know what the hell I did to you!!  But you SERIOUSLY dislike me.  Ok, ignore me then.

Rusty says he's going to delete my blog.  So, only if I have to, will I address this ONE more time.  Wait, no I won't.  I will just deal with it in person.  That way my blog can be what it is intended to be.  We have lost valuable time with our dear friends Rick and Renee.  It won't happen again.  Not with any of my friends.  Maybe this will clear up ANY confusion.

Other than this, my life is pretty much drama free and I love it!!!!  Why not give it a try?

Phooey

I have 3 big days ahead of me.
1.  a) Baby Shower for a co-worker/friend
     b) Double Date night
2.  Friends 32nd birthday party
3.  Friend/family baby shower for said friend in 1.a

That being said, it is 8:45 and I am going to bed.  After, that is, I down a good dose of Nyquil.  Please cold, go away.