Sunday, October 31, 2010

Phooey

I'm not one to talk on the phone.  I like to do most my keeping in touch on-line.  I'm a victim of technology, yes. So, it's bad that I don't keep in touch.  I guess I am wrong to think that friends will know I'm there even if I don't always keep in touch.  Most the time I just go on about my day and think "Hey, I haven't talked to them in a while!"  I think I've lost a friend even though we haven't talked in a while.  I'm not "friend" worthy on FB, I know that.  It's hard because I don't have busy evenings like most do with families and such so I always feel like I'm intruding or interrupting.  Guess that's the price of a friendship.  Maybe I should just not give a damn and be intrusive anyway??  I hate doing that though.

Phooey.  Most definitely got my feelings hurt today.

A winner has been announced I suppose.  Congrats.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Celexa Update

It occurred to me last night why I couldn't find much information on Celexa withdrawal symptoms other than the first week or so.  Maybe it's because they go away and you don't have any reason to think about mentioning it, blogging it, or researching it.  So, for those of you who have visited my site for this reason, I will update.   I have had a lot of international visitors and assume this is why.  Of course, I still have have the regular old snoopers, and that's okay too.  It's public and that's their right.

I believe it was September 16th that I ran out of my prescription Celexa.  It was a Thursday and I first blogged about it on a Monday.  Tomorrow, October 28th, will be six weeks.  I almost view this as I do my quitting smoking; an accomplishment that deserves acknowledgement.  It won't be celebrated each year and I won't be marking it on my calendar but I remember almost daily when I don't have to take anything but a good ol' vitamin!

A few days ago I had a little bit of the "brain/eye lag" but that's about it.  I have had a few down moments when things have overwhelmed me but I bounced back.  Maybe not until I had a small pity party for myself, but I bounced back nevertheless.  I was pleasantly surprised today at one point when I was smiling and seemed like my old self, just without medication.  I was only on 20 mg a day but maybe this will help some understand their withdrawal symptoms.  Do I still suffer from depression?  I would have to say so.  That is something that will never go away.  You can't change your chemical make-up.

Does this mean everyone can stop taking their medication and do just fine?  NO!!!  Luckily, so far, I am able to deal with my depression.  I do think it's minor at the time.  I still can go from being happy as can be to thinking I am the most worthless thing in the world.  Split second.......so weird.  Rusty even asked how I did that [go from fine to hating myself].  I just can.  Doesn't take much to get someone down on themselves when they have such low self esteem to begin with.

So, for those of you that are trying to quit the grips of anti-depressants SAFELY; it does get better.  Everyone is different though.  My case is based on my body and my chemical make-up.  For those of you that are trying.........I wish you luck!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Beautiful Sleep

Yep, he's been a great boy lately.  Sleeping all night was our best thing last night!  Pooping and peeing outside is another great plus.  Marley is starting to come around also as she realizes he's not going anywhere.  Nightly walks are enjoyed by all...minus Keiko even though he'd love to go!  One big happy family!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Just Not Feeling It

I just haven't been feeling the blog lately.  Not sure why, but that's the case!  Let's see if I can update on a few things.....................

Celexa withdrawal is pretty much still gone.  I have the brain lag/sounds still but not as often.  My mood is definitely different.  I am not the outspoken, say what I think person I was.  I guess the Celexa gave me that care free attitude.  I feel like I am more quiet and reserved.  Guess that could be a good thing!

I struggled with side effects of surgery but thankfully that seems to be getting back to normal too.

Sunday we met Rusty's parents in Dodge City for lunch.  It was a nice visit.  Quick, but very nice.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous.  Wish there would have been more for us to do together but Dodge City just ain't got much!  To bad too.

Work is going great.  I have just had a hard time getting back into the swing of things since surgery.  I think getting up/woke up once a night for a potty run isn't helping.  All in good time.  The new pup.....Dagwood that is!!....is doing great!  Unfortunately, I think he believes he is supposed to poop in his crate.  Prior to us getting him he sat in a crate for 10 hours a day.  He knows no different!  He does great on the pee part.  He has learned to use the doggy door very well and loves playing with Keiko.  Marley is still in "this is my house" mode but she is slowly learning that he will be staying.  He's our type of dog.  Of course I can't wait until he gets trained and can snuggle with us at night!  Here's some pics of the cute little guy!




Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Three Years Smoke Free

Three years ago today I had my very last cigarette.  I have not had one drag, one puff, one anything since.
Some days, yes, I'd love to go out and get some.  I know where that would lead and I'm not ready to go there yet!!  Now, when I turn 70 I'm allowed to smoke again if I want!!  My wonderful husband sent me 3 roses to work for my 3 years.  As a co-worker told me "he is such a great guy!"  She's got that right!


My dad and his wife sent me flowers following my surgery.  They were awesome too!

Can't wait to use that mug for soup!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday Monday

Monday was nicer than usual today.  Could it be because a man named Christopher Columbus did something many years ago and warranted the mail not to run today??  Yep, I believe it could!  Even Saturday's mail was not enough to trump the good fortune today.

Long day, rough day getting back into the swing of things.  Lost my steri-strips on my belly button already.  I don't think I was supposed to yet.  Hoping it's okay!  Hate for that to bust open.  Ouch!  Still got some bruising and some pain but all in all, it's good.

Here's to another great nights sleep.  I'm loving that part!

Friday, October 8, 2010

It Wasn't My Time

Looks as though Thursday was not my day to go!  I'm alive and well.  In fact, everything is perfect.  Not the news I expected to hear, but I am happy with the results nevertheless.

I find it odd that I was completely at peace going in thinking that I may not come back out.  Maybe not odd, but interesting.  I honestly think that I am so completely satisfied with my life that I would be okay if this was it.  Are there lots more things I would like to do and see?  Sure.  But to know that at age 33 I am happy with my life thus far, that's a blessing.  So many people want, want want.  Of course I want, but I've been blessed so much already.

I had tears in my eyes as my husband left my side.  The thought that I may never see him again, yes that was sad.  But, enough about that!

I am so completely happy to say that my withdrawal symptoms are nearly gone.  Only once today have I had the brain lag thing.  I am sleeping so much better.  My taste buds have also changed a bit as in I no longer really crave Dr. Pepper or any pop for that matter.  I have reverted back to decaffeinated sweet tea.  I was drinking Kool-Aid for a bit but that even became too sweet.  After two weeks is up, I'll have to start the exercising.  Anywho, doing great off the Celexa and it is so awesome to be able to say I take no medications other than a vitamin and occasional RX anti inflammatory, no smoking, no drinking (maybe once a month or two), nothing to really count.  I'm a pretty clean gal!  Well, except for that extra 40 pounds I'm packing.  That will be my next thing to change in my life.  Hey, getting off the Celexa was a big one!!  It was a rough 2 weeks but so worth it!

This weekend is my 15th High School Reunion.  I am missing out on a few festivities today but I am going to make sure I make supper tomorrow night.  Then next weekend I get to hang out with my girlfriends Jen and Leigh.  Jen's sister is getting married.  Looking forward to that.

Sold our HUGE Christmas Tree on Nex-Tech Classifieds today.  We are going to downsize on that a bit.  It was a big one and oh so pretty, but big.  Also sold our flat screen entertainment center.  Sold both of those in less than 6 hours.  I was pumped!  It was a great deal so not so hard.

Well, I guess I'll let this do.  Nothing but blabbering now.  Not much to post about when you've done nothing but sit in a recliner with a heating pad!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Celexa And Surgery

Well, looks like I am on the downhill slide with the Celexa withdrawals.  I say that as tomorrow will be two weeks since my last dose.  I hope it doesn't hit me again!  I still have a small amount of brain lag and dizziness but that's about it.

Now, if I can make it through surgery tomorrow I'll be even better.  They are doing more than what I thought we had bargained for so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I don't feel good about it, the surgery or the outcome.  I have had a bad feeling for a while and as it draws near it only gets worse.

I guess you could say I'm scared.  I've been put out before but never have I had people go inside my body through incisions.  Ick!

If I survive, you'll see another post from me sometime this weekend maybe!  If not, I love you babe!