I Am Emotional

So, I am home from my Thanksgiving trip back to Chickasha. Unfortunately, I am writing in blue........yes, because I am blue.

I do not regret my move to Hays at all. And, this weekend just helped reassure me that I made the right decision. I do miss my mom and other family but when my own brother and his wife don't say 3 words to me the whole 4 hours we are together.......that kind of bothers me. I don't know what I did other than move away. And then, I have people that I considered friends and I guess I should have known better. They won't stay in touch with me but they sure like to comment about the way I feel about things. They ask me for recipes or other things and then I hear nothing from them. Friends?? I guess I was wrong.

I feel bad for my dad's girlfriend because she thinks my brother and I not really speaking is her fault and it's not (that I know of). Every time she tries to ask them about it they say I left because I wanted to "be left alone." I never said that and if I did they are taking it out of context. Quit using it as an EXCUSE!! I am tired of people making me feel bad for choosing what I want to do! Why can't they be like my father-in-law? He commented that it looked like we were having a lot of fun here in Hays. He's right!! Why do they have to try and bring it down? I hate that I made that trip to be ignored and made to feel like I was an outcast by members of my own family. And, the reason my grandmother wouldn't let dad's girlfriend make Rusty and I a plate of Thanksgiving food but let everyone else..............I have no earthly idea. I know she would rather let her prized grandson have it so maybe there wasn't much to give out?? I don't know. I feel like I am being punished for doing something my husband and I were going to do eventually anyway. Is there a rule that really says once you live in Chickasha you must stay there until your dying day?

I hate that I let it bother me. I hate that I let the people I thought were my friends make me mad and then make me so angry that I cry. They want to think I am miserable just because I was ready to come home to Hays, then they can go ahead and think it. I was miserable because I wasn't sleeping good and the drive was long for just a few hours with the people I love. I know a little is better than none but I would much rather spend a weekend with each family than run the rat race. It just wasn't worth it. When someone felt the need to be smart and comment to just stay home.......well, that's right! We are staying home for Christmas. Not because of any of this. But, I will sure not lose any sleep over it now.

I am just rambling now. I hate that I let them keep me from enjoying my Sunday evening at home with my husband. I really wanted to put Christmas decorations up tonight. We were just too tired though. I had to do laundry too! So, I'm waiting for that to get done and then probably go to bed. I just hate that I ended this long weekend on a bad note. That's my family......................and I can pretty much count on it every time.